Monday, October 31, 2011

I've Been Replaced! Egad!

Screw it. I had a whole post written out about the meaning in life (or lack there of, for the more pessimistic people...) but it all felt empty. No heart to write about that particular cliche topics right now, I'm going to talk about society. Yes, again.
Personally, I hate it. Having to rely on other humans in order to obtain pieces of linen paper with an albeit special green ink, in order to simply not starve, or have a place to get out of the cold. Putting yourself through such a miserable monotony only in order to have a hellhole to go home to at night, and stare at the ceiling or get wasted because you can't sleep. To work so hard for the very things that make you miserable, only to realize at the end of the day that the only one you can really blame for your pessimism and depression is your own self, that you make yourself the way you are, that you took away from yourself the very things you did all that work for.
Well, it's the end of class. I'd love to write more, but I have a history to dissect. Oh joy.
The quote is in image format today.
Kumagawa, My third favourite character in Medaka box.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Pardon.... Everything.


I've been having a decent week, up's and downs with the positives and negatives, and then, as a matter of course, history starts repeating. It sucks, to be honest.

Anyway, I best start talking about something relevant, or everyone might leave! Oh, wait.... Bit late for that.
Late-ness aside, I found out something today. I was reading through some of my favorite quotes by Chuck Palahniuk,
And I came across one I found to be undeniably true. It was: "What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction."
I mean, isn't that what everyone is searching for? The perfect fit to that gaping maw of whatever endless, pointless vacuum that is there, sitting, waiting, longing to be fulfilled. Someone, or something (some people have... Odd... Tendencies.) that is there, exactly when you need them to be, hell, even when you don't? Don't we all want that? Sometimes, at least? Can't we just skip all the pointless frivolities and the mindless tedium of what this socially bankrupt world asks of us, and start looking for that? No, I guess not.
When in Rome, and all that.

Well, this is it.
Another pointless post by Apathetic Me.

“I've met God across his long walnut desk with his diplomas hanging on the wall behind him, and God asks me, "Why?" Why did I cause so much pain? Didn't I realize that each of us is a sacred, unique snowflake of special unique specialness? Can't I see how we're all manifestations of love? I look at God behind his desk, taking notes on a pad, but God's got this all wrong. We are not special. We are not crap or trash, either. We just are. We just are, and what happens just happens. And God says, "No, that's not right." Yeah. Well. Whatever. You can't teach God anything.”
Chuck Palahniuk quotes (American freelance Journalist, Satirist and Novelist. b.1961)

Sunday, October 16, 2011

The Pigs, They Be Flying

The world is, really, a funny place. As an example: just a couple minuets ago, I was listening to my iPod of a decently large number of songs, and I decided I'd like to listen to symmetry by the dangerous summer, (a good song) and as I was going to skip through my playlist to find it, when the previous song ends and lo and behold, symmetry is playing. I personally find this endlessly interesting, because that's not the first time something like it has happened. Not even close. It's shockingly common. Sometimes the world seems to just listen to what I have to say, which is no small miracle in and of itself. (Listening to me, I mean.)
Call it paranoia, call it seeing patterns, believe that if I wave a stick at some water, it'll just part and let me pass, I don't care I just thought it was interesting, and thought i'd share my pointless musings (Twice in one day!) and that's what this blog is about.


“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
Oscar Wilde quotes (Irish Poet, Novelist, Dramatist and Critic, 1854-1900

When something's gone

7:30 in the morning... My all time earliest post. Well, I guess when you have stuff to say, you have stuff to say.
Okay, so, sometimes in life, you find something special. Something you hold above all else. A gift from a loved one, a few words written on a scrap of paper written at just the right time, the first drawing of you your child put so much effort in, saying "I love you." a person, even. That thing becomes so special to you, the thought of it disappearing is simply... Incomprehensible. You don't know what you'd do. And if you ever do loose it, you're crushed. You can spend hours, days, weeks, months even, just searching for it. the thought of anything replacing it is simply insane. For a while, nothing else matters.
Then, later, after lack of sleep, emotional torment, and possibly a torn apart house, when you find it, the feeling can't be described actually. Relief, euphoria, everything the exact opposite of when you lost it. You never, ever want to loose it again. And if you do, the process starts all over again, just maybe a little stronger.
All you ever want is it back.
Anyway, that's it for me. I'm off to think about things.
Until next time.

Just because it matters to you, doesn't mean anyone cares, I guess.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Nooks and Crannies

Has anyone else ever had the feeling that something was just... Missing? That something -should- be there, or was there once, and now there's just this odd kind of emptiness? Like you'll never really be able to move on until it's fixed? Anyway, that's just something to think about.

I was reading some philosophy the other day, and I came across this in a book quoting Nietzsche's The Gay Science, and it struck me as... Well perfect, really.

"Aph. 341 The greatest weight.—What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: "This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more; and there will be nothing new in it, but every pain and every joy and every thought and sigh and everything unutterably small or great in your life will have to return to you, all in the same succession and sequence—even this spider and this moonlight between the trees, and even this moment and I myself. The eternal hourglass of existence is turned upside down again and again, and you with it, speck of dust!"

Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: "You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine." If this thought gained possession of you, it would change you as you are or perhaps crush you. The question in each and every thing, "Do you desire this once more and innumerable times more?" would lie upon your actions as the greatest weight. Or how well disposed would you have to become to yourself and to life to crave nothing more fervently than this ultimate eternal confirmation and seal?"

Would we want our lives to be done unto us over and over again? Would we want the past to simply play back like a broken record, stuck on a single track? Are we contented enough with whatever lives we are living to be happy with have it "once more and innumerable times more?"
What would you do?
What ~could~ you do?
And again, what seems to be at the root of everything, Are you "Happy"?
Looks like you'll have to find your own answers again folks. Just something to keep in mind from little old Apathetic Me.

"What win I, if I gain the thing I seek?
A dream, a breath, a froth of fleeting joy.
Who buy's a minuets mirth to wail a week?
Or sells eternity to get a toy?
For one sweet grape who will the vine destroy?"
~ William Shakespeare

Ps~ I have a blogger app now, so I might be posting more often.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Some great poems by Osoanon Nimuss

Warped and Twisted

Harsh words & violent blows
Hidden secrets nobody knows
Eyes are open, hands are fisted
Deep inside I'm warped & twisted
So many tricks & so many lies
Too many whens & too many whys
Nobody's special, nobody's gifted
I'm just me, warped & twisted
Sleeping awake & choking on a dream
Listening loudly to a silent scream
Call my mind, the number's unlisted
Lost in someone so warped & twisted
On my knees, alive but dead
Look at the invisible blood I've bled
I'm not gone, my mind has drifted
Don't expect much, I'm warped & twisted
Burnt out, wasted, empty, & hollow
Today's just yesterday's tomorrow
The sun died out, the ashes sifted
I'm still here, warped & twisted

Osoanon Nimuss
---
Absolutely Nothing

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it 'Chops'
because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed alot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
Valentine signed with a row of X's
and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
And his father always tucked him in bed at night
And was always there to do it.

Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it 'Autumn'
because that was the name of the season
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
And the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed alot
And his father never tucked him in bed at night
And his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it.

Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it 'Innocence: A Question'
because that was the question about his girl
And that's what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
That was the year Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of the Apostle's Creed went
And he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
And the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at 3am he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly.

That's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it 'Absolutely Nothing'
Because that's what it was really all about
And he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn't think
he could reach the kitchen.

Osoanon Nimuss

Great stuff. You always know that writing is amazing when the name is such an awesome pun.
Post coming tomorrow.
Ciao.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Ah, god I love blueberries.

I've been replaying my this last year or so in my head lately, remembering everything that was going on, good times and bad, things i wish could go back, stuff like that, and i realized, i have yet to talk about the good points in life. so today, i am going to try as hard as i can to be optimistic.

To me, one of the good points in life ( in this day and age) is proximity. It is, of course, a downside as well, but i said i would try to be optimistic, so I'll skip that. We as a people are so... close and connected that lets say that two people who were close broke away from each other. See, in this society, there is always the chance that, if something changed, those two could meet again, as long as one tried to look. E-mail, chat clients, videogames, blogs, everything holds us together just close enough for there to be a way to hold people together, so we all don't go insane, unnoticed, or dead. There is always some way to get back with loved ones as long as they're alive, if you only look hard enough.
To me, that is perfect. I think that, if someone actually went through that, that they would actually have to try to find whoever it is they're looking for, and still be able to find them. It shows that they are willing to try.
Anyway, sappy stuff aside, I'm going to end here today with some parting words and a quote.
Take care everyone.
'till next time.
Don't let the world hate you too much.

Something that seems random is just something that doesn't make sense to you.
~ApatheticMe (I think...)

Friday, August 26, 2011

Let's see...
I haven't published in quite some time, and yet I have 9 page views this week. How very vexing.

So how is everyone, out there in the wide, wide world? Are your lives the way you want them? Is happiness just another teardrop away? Do you see the light at the end of the tunnel?
I'm going to take a wild guess here and say... Probably not. If you were such happy little humans, i somehow doubt you would be reading my rantings and ravings, and pick up a more productive hobby.

Yes, it's me, and i'm back with a new found pessimism, ready to take a whack at whatever topic comes my way. As my comeback speech, i'm going to talk in circles about "answers" eventually getting nowhere, and possibly leaving you with more questions than you came with. Feel free to stop reading whenever you like.

To me, answers are my life. I spend every second of every day looking for them, chasing them, and only rarely finding them. I waste everything I am on these insignificant (to some) questions, and somehow, I always end up worse off. Looking for answers can be dangerous, unhealthy, and might even lead to some... unsavory consequences. (*slides finger across throat*) But the biggest effect, is that it makes you different. I'll leave it up to you to interpret that as a good or bad thing. I'm sure some of you out there know what I mean. When you have an answer, you somehow know you can't just tell someone. answers are more individual than people. Much more. And to taint that would be to destroy their beauty, and their worth.

So, how was that? Confused?  Well, sorry if you are. (not really though.)
Maybe you'll find your answer some day.


“Every human has four endowments- self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom... The power to choose, to respond, to change.”
 Stephen R. Covey quotes

Monday, June 6, 2011

A post, just because I can.

Hello, hello, hello, how has everyone been? I am writing to you folks today about absolutely nothing at all. I'm just rambling. Come to think of it, what's so different about that? I seem to write uniformly rants... Anywho, It seems that i'm going to audition for Blogger Idol. More traffic, plus possible prizes... What more could you ask for?
Anyway, I should probably say something productive while I'm on here, and not juist waste however long it is you take to read this stuff by filling it with fluf, so, what to say... Hmmm...
I guess i could talk about the main thing on my mind right now, the seemingly "pointlessness" of everything. I've been noticing a pattern in the world today, especialy in my life. Everything just seems to happen. No warning, no follow up, no anything. Event a to event b. It's getting... Boring. Moreso than usual, and i need anything but boring in my life right now.
It seems that, sence the "point" to life, if there ever was one, is getting ever more simple. Sure, that makes philosophers lives more simple, and conspiracy theorists more easy to beleive, which may be all fin and dandy for them, but for apathetic bloggers like me, it makes it so much harder to write a damn post. No complexity to mankinds trouble just puts me out of a job, and i lake my job, damnit.
So, everyone, i'll come back with less fluf and more apathetic me-ness tomorow. Yes, i'm a procrastinator. Deal with it.

“Courage is the discovery that you may not win, and trying when you know you can lose.”

Tom Krause

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

1,000 Pageviews!!!! (1,012, actualy...)

Today/yesterday, I hit 1k pageviews! I thank all my readers for this, because they did the work, not me...
SO! Thanks for reading!

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Happy Birthday To Me...

Yeah, It's my birthday today. What're you gonna do? The earth has orbited the sun another time in my existance. Woo.
Now that that's over with, what will I talk about.
Ah, yes.
Have you ever had the feeling of hoping something would happen so much, even though you know it would never actualy happen? Ever hung on, listening for a single noise, a word, hearing things that are simply delusions created by such an extreme, hopless, want.
Yeah, that's it. I'm too tired to type much more today. I haven't been able to think strait in months, and it's finaly catching up to me.

“I wanted to write about the moment when your addictions no longer hide the truth from you. When your whole life breaks down. That's the moment when you have to somehow choose what your life is going to be about.”

Chuck Palahniuk

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

The Return Of the Apathetic

     Well, now that all of my non subscribed readers are gone (probably) I return! I return with an altogether "new" pessimistic point of view.
     SO! My post today is about "masks." People hiding behind facades of fake emotions, hiding their problems, running away from potential happiness, wrapping themselves in their soft little cocoon of misery. Of course, I'm not exactly the best person to be talking about, me being the third most messed up on the list of "people who hide themselves" of the people I know, but someone has to do it, and it seems that I'm better than nothing. (according to the same 3...)
     To start:
People instinctively want to feel safe. It's animal instinct. Our nature. A turtle hides in its shell, a hedgehog curls into a ball, a frog secretes poison. It's all just defensive. Reflexive.
     We humans have no hard shells, we have no spines, we have no poisons. All we have is our minds. The very same place that is the problems origin. We build up walls harder than steel, lash out with words sharper than swords, and watch as our opinions and reactions corrodes everyone around us.
     If you haven't noticed by now, this is a compilation of allot of the things I've posted so far. Think about it. Think about why we hide. Think about who is really in the wrong.

"You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind."
Mahatma Gandhi

"Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people."
Elanor Roosevelt

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Just to see if anyone would go through trouble to read this

This post will be in binary code. Because I can.

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The Quote
"Music is what feelings sound like"
Anonymous

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Rambling again

I apologize for the lack of posts of late. I seem to have no inspiration when i have topics, and no topics when i have inspiration, along with some happy distractions.

So... I'm just gonna talk.
I know too many people that hate themselves, too many people who (wrongly) think that what they do is wrong, that others are always more important. True, i may just be a hypocrite when i say that people should not say/think/believe these things, but someone has to drop low enough so to be a foothold for others to climb higher, and i cant stand the idea of it being someone other than me. I don't like seeing people hating themselves. Anyway, as a shout out to all the people who feel this way, or know others that do, i dedicate this (improvised) post.

No one, at all, ever, is useless. No one is hated by everyone. Everyone is different. Simple sayings, that no one really ever takes notice of. I'm gonna try to give my opinions, which, to me, are truth.

Okay, so, everyone is useful. Everyone can make someone happy. they can change a life, they can make others see, someone just needs to listen.you need to listen to people when they try to talk to you. You need to let go of yourself for a little bit and take notice of the little things. I guess if you don't notice them, you can't help them.

No one is hated by everyone. I can say that as an absolute fact, because i don't hate people. I just don't. There are bound to be more people like me in the world, so just try and find one, why don't ya.

Everyone is different. You cant just expect people to understand you or what you say just because you said some vague and confusing things about your mind in a metaphor... Also, it means that if someone hates you, on the basis that everyone is different, someone likes you.

well, I'm out of things to say for my psychology improv. I think i did okay for some spur-of-the-moment rambling.

Le Quote:

Monday, March 21, 2011

Memory and Connecting My Readers.

Memory. My favorite words on this are in the book Impulse by Ellen Hopkins, but i will try and put it in my own words, just for you people.

memory... Hated by the people that never want to remember, loved by those who can never bear to forget. I really don't know what to say on this, me being all wishy-washy on this subject myself. Personally, my memory is based on triggers. Words, voices, sounds, sights... everything reminds me of what i have... linked to them. Lets say a friend gets me into a band, every time i hear that band it triggers the memory of that person. It's just the way i work. On a more general note, memory is one of the major things that makes us, us. Our memories are a great influence on every choice we make, every word we say, every step we take . It not only lets us remember where we put our car keys (sometimes) but it helps us make choices. Choices that may make, or break us.

Okay, everyone, I have created a palringo group (palringo is a chat client that works on many mobile phones, [Including ipod touch] windows and mac, so you can use it on the go or on your desktop) named Apatheticology. I made it based on the theory that if person A likes to read this and person B likes to read this, Person A and Person B might have something in common, and like to chat. So, check it out if you feel like you might like chatting with some of the people that read this. Curiously enough, including me (I'm named Nevahevah on there) there is already four of my readers that have joined it.

Well, I'm off now. Things to do. (not really...)

Friday, March 18, 2011

The big post... Disapointingly small!!!

Okay, okay, were to start...
What do I truly want to know that  someone might be able to teach me? What do i want to know that i can learn by simply opening a book and reading about? To answer these, i would have to say very little. There is no book (to contradict myself, see Akashic Records) that holds the secrets of this world, no class that teaches me why things are. Those things are my interests. The things you can spend lifetimes studying, and not learn more than a fraction about. So all in all, i am doomed to be curious and thoughtful my entire life. i am doomed to be intellectually “unfulfilled.” I think i might be able to live with that though. probably...
The following are just bits of thoughts. Poems, paragraphs, whatever, just bits of my mind on paper. hope you find it interesting.
Sorry there isn’t as much as i thought there would be. I’m not comfortable sharing most of them with the wide world. :P
Remember, things may not be what they seem.
_____________________________________________________________________________
First off, Remember that story i posted... a couple of posts ago? well, here’s the prologue.
You enter my life at exactly the wrong moment. I am drifting in and out of consciousness, taxing on a cocktail of pain, anesthetics, and blood loss. I open my eyes to the largish hole in my chest, and i glare at the men in blue scrubs that are pulling out the folded steel shrapnel of the bullet that entirely failed to do its job. My eyes focus just beyond them, to a paneled viewing room, and rest on you. A face that feels so familiar, and yet so foreign. as i drift back out of conscious, i let out a single, hollow laugh with no humor in it at all.
I should probably remember you, but....
I don't.
_____________________________________________________________________________
Cheery, eh?
The next piece is just... random.
Ever do we walk this earth, our influence spreading out with each step. Rippling. A stone against the surface of a lake. Each minute wave colliding with others. Entangling lives, crossing paths, Making lives... And breaking them. Each person only a single pebble at the bottom of the lake, and each life only a small ripple, but it just wouldn’t be the same without them.
_____________________________________________________________________________
Another poem, but if poetry can’t be a form of thought, then I’m the muffin man.
I’ve got time
to watch it all crumble away
to hear everybody say
that it all ends today.
I can wait
‘till all of the past is gone
‘till we all move right along
just singing the same old song.
It’s over
We remember what we have done
the beginning has finally begun
I wonder if we have won.
This time
We will give it all that we’ve got
Fighting our fights on the spot
Living our lives today
Scared of throwing it all away.
_____________________________________________________________________________
… Random thing about writing.
Everything i write starts out as a means to an end.
One page to clear my mind
One verse to help forget.
Everything I write turns into a softly nagging thought.
Could I explain it all so bluntly?
You know, that is not the end....
Everything I write turns into an obsession.
No, it still isn’t enough!
I have so much more to say....
_____________________________________________________________________________
Anonymous. 
There is more, for another day...

Because I would want to know.

If my "big post" Isn't up today, it will be up tomorrow. sorry for the wait. I had to go through a heluvalot of papers, then i stupidly chose to write it out first, i'm typing it now.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Not the big post, sorry...

I just took the mbti, here is my result.

INTP

INTPs are pensive, analytical folks. They may venture so deeply into thought as to seem detached, and often actually are oblivious to the world around them.
Precise about their descriptions, INTPs will often correct others (or be sorely tempted to) if the shade of meaning is a bit off. While annoying to the less concise, this fine discrimination ability gives INTPs so inclined a natural advantage as, for example, grammarians and linguists.
INTPs are relatively easy-going and amenable to almost anything until their principles are violated, about which they may become outspoken and inflexible. They prefer to return, however, to a reserved albeit benign ambiance, not wishing to make spectacles of themselves.
A major concern for INTPs is the haunting sense of impending failure. They spend considerable time second-guessing themselves. The open-endedness (from Perceiving) conjoined with the need for competence (NT) is expressed in a sense that one's conclusion may well be met by an equally plausible alternative solution, and that, after all, one may very well have overlooked some critical bit of data. An INTP arguing a point may very well be trying to convince himself as much as his opposition. In this way INTPs are markedly different from INTJs, who are much more confident in their competence and willing to act on their convictions.
Mathematics is a system where many INTPs love to play, similarly languages, computer systems--potentially any complex system. INTPs thrive on systems. Understanding, exploring, mastering, and manipulating systems can overtake the INTP's conscious thought. This fascination for logical wholes and their inner workings is often expressed in a detachment from the environment, a concentration where time is forgotten and extraneous stimuli are held at bay. Accomplishing a task or goal with this knowledge is secondary.
INTPs and Logic -- One of the tipoffs that a person is an INTP is her obsession with logical correctness. Errors are not often due to poor logic -- apparent faux pas in reasoning are usually a result of overlooking details or of incorrect context.
Games NTs seem to especially enjoy include Risk, Bridge, Stratego, Chess, Go, and word games of all sorts. (I have an ENTP friend that loves Boggle and its variations. We've been known to sit in public places and pick a word off a menu or mayonnaise jar to see who can make the most words from its letters on a napkin in two minutes.) The INTP mailing list has enjoyed a round of Metaphore, virtual volleyball, and a few 'finish the series' brain teasers.
INTPs in the main are not clannish. The INTP mailing list, with a readership now in triple figures, was in its incipience fraught with all the difficulties of the Panama canal: we had trouble deciding:
whether or not there should be such a group,
exactly what such a group should be called, and
which of us would have to take the responsibility for organization and maintenance of the aforesaid group/club/whatever.
A Functional Analysis
Introverted ThinkingIntroverted Thinking strives to extract the essence of the Idea from various externals that express it. In the extreme, this conceptual essence wants no form or substance to verify its reality. Knowing the Truth is enough for INTPs; the knowledge that this truth can (or could) be demonstrated is sufficient to satisfy the knower. "Cogito, ergo sum" expresses this prime directive quite succinctly.
In seasons of low energy level, or moments of single-minded concentration, the INTP is aloof and detached in a way that might even offend more relational or extraverted individuals.
Extraverted iNtuitionIntuition softens and socializes Thinking, fleshing out the brittle bones of truths formed in the dominant inner world. That which is is not negotiable; yet actual application diffuses knowledge to the extent that knowledge needs qualification and context to be of any consequence in this foreign world of substance.
If Thinking can desist, the INTP is free to brainstorm, calling up the perceptions of the unconscious (i.e., intuition) which are mirrored in patterns in the realm of matter, time and space. These perceptions, in the form of theories or hunches, must ultimately defer to the inner principles, or at least they must not negate them.
Intuition unchained gives birth to play. INTPs enjoy games, formal or impromptu, which coax analogies, patterns and theories from the unseen into spontaneous expression in a way that defies their own comprehension.
Introverted SensingSensing is of a subjective, inner nature similar to that of the SJs. It supplies awareness of the forms of senses rather than the raw, analogic stimuli. Facts and figures seek to be cleaned up for comparison with an ever growing range of previously experienced input. Sensing assists intuition in sorting out and arranging information into the building blocks for Thinking's elaborate systems.
The internalizing nature of the INTP's Sensing function leaves a relative absence of environmental awareness (i.e., Extraverted Sensing), except when the environment is the current focus. Consciousness of such conditions is at best a sometime thing.
Extraverted FeelingFeeling tends to be all or none. When present, the INTP's concern for others is intense, albeit naive. In a crisis, this feeling judgement is often silenced by the emergence of Thinking, who rushes in to avert chaos and destruction. In the absence of a clear principle, however, INTPs have been known to defer judgement and to allow decisions about interpersonal matters to be left hanging lest someone be offended or somehow injured. INTPs are at risk of being swept away by the shadow in the form of their own strong emotional impulses.
Famous INTPs:Socrates
Rene Descartes
Blaise Pascal
Sir Isaac Newton
U.S. Presidents:
James Madison
John Quincy Adams
John Tyler
Dwight D. Eisenhower
Gerald Ford
William Harvey (pioneer in human physiology)
C. G. Jung, (Freudian defector, author of Psychological Types, etc.)
William James
Albert Einstein
Charles Darwin
Tom Foley (1989-1995: Speaker of the House--U.S. House of Representatives)
Henri Mancini
Bob Newhart
Jeff Bingaman, U.S. Senator (D.--NM)
Rick Moranis (Honey, I Shrunk The Kids)
Midori Ito (ice skater, Olympic silver medalist)
Tiger Woods
Fictional INTPsSherlock Holmes
Tom and Fiona (Four Weddings and a Funeral)
Dr. Susan Lewis (ER)
Filburt (Rocko's Modern Life)

Still working on the big one.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

About the delay

Sorry that the posts have been so spread out of late, I've been putting togeather all of the papers were I store all of my random thoughts and setting up for a big post, so bear with me.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Ohh! Look! More doubting of Mankind!

Another post, as per request of my readers. What to say… What oh what to say. Ok, Words. Lets talk about words. Little  things we say, we write, we hear, and yet they have overwhelming, awesome (in the true meaning of the word) power. A couple of words said by the right person can kill. The right (or wrong) words can destroy someone. Leave them desolate, despairing, alone, and in pain. Some words cut sharper than any blade….
 
Why though? Why do words, which are simply noises given meaning (and power) by a society (and an ever changing one at that,) have such raw, awe-inspiring power? You have to admit, its pretty good for distorted vibrating wind...

 

It reminds me of a quote i saw once (the quote of the day is here today... oh the horror....): Man is stark mad. He cannot make so much as a worm, and yet he will be making gods by the dozens. -Montaigne. I guess we can only give power to things, and not use it for ourselves....

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

"My Dear people, I am Lying to you!"

Today, I am simply showing you something i found that I thought was interesting. I'll follow up on it. Probably.

Paradoxes
The first in Francis Moorcroft's series looking at some the classic philosophical paradoxes.
No. 1 The Paradox of the Liar
Francis Moorcroft
Suppose someone said to you
What I am now saying is a lie.
Is what they said true or false? If what they said was true, then they are telling a lie so it is false; on the other hand, if it is false then it isn't a lie and so must be true!
This paradox known as the Paradox of the Liar is usually attributed to Epimenides - although it was actually devised by Eubilides. Epimenides, who was a Cretan, was supposed to have said
All Cretans are liars.
The problem is: Is he telling the truth or not. It seems that if the sentence is true, then it is false. But if it is false, then it is true.
A tempting way out is to suppose that the problem is to do with the notion of self-reference, that Epimenides was referring to himself when he said 'All Cretans are liars'. After all, one favourite version of the paradox is
This sentence is false
and a clearer case of self-reference couldn't be given, as the 'this' of the sentence refers to the sentence itself.
Such a solution would, however, be premature. Consider the following pair of sentences
The following sentence is true.
The preceding sentence is false.
Neither of these sentences refers to itself, and yet the same paradox is generated: if the first sentence is true then it is false - but if it is false then it is true. So the problem can't be about self-reference.
Perhaps by now you may be thinking that the problem is that such utterances as Epimenides' and the other versions given above are not true or false but meaningless, that they may, on the surface, appear to make sense but really have no more meaning than the nonsense verse of Lewis Carroll. This solution may also be attractive but consider the following case. You are walking down the street and you find a card on the pavement which says
The sentence on the other side of this card is true.
When you turn over the card, the other side reads
The sentence on the other side of this card is false.
The problem is that if the first sentence was meaningless then how did you know that you should turn over the card and read the other side...

from http://www.philosophers.co.uk/cafe/paradox1.htm

Quote:'The world isn't fair, Calvin.' 'I know, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor? Calvin and hobbes.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

A post, for all you readers out there.... Anyone? Hello?

Can SOMEONE besides Mythrei and Anonymous (I'm not complaining, your comments are wonderful. Keep 'em coming) PLEASE start posting some comments on my blog... It helps me know I'm not just talking to myself on here...

Onto the post:
We, as humans, have things we want. We have things that would make us "happy" if we were to achieve, gain, understand, know, or whatever, the object of our desire. What makes us " want" these things, though? why do we "desire" things that we may never get? Is it only because people tell us that we want these things, or that we are just looking to be happy? Or is it, in my dark, misanthropic, pessimistic, view, something else...

I think that we want things because it simply "fits" at the time. If we are happy, we want something that can make us -more- happy. If we are depressed, We want something that can make us even -more- depressed. Whether it is because we think that is what we deserve, or if its is just the way things happen, i don't know. I only know that when i am depressed, i always end up on my bed listening to depressing music mulling over the not-so-wonderful past, and when I am happy, I am going around laughing, humming to myself, and bursting into random fits of laughter every so often, all the while doing something... "fullfulling"...

Well, I'm off. Here's the quote:
"The laws that keep us safe, these same laws condem us to boredom. Without access to true chaos, we'll never have true peace. Unless everything can get worse, it won't get any better."
Chuck Palahniuk

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I'm back! Even though technically I never left...

Sorry about my lack of posts lately, i have been... Distracted is a closer enough word...

So, just to infuriate everyone subconscious who "expected great things" from me, i am simply going to talk about a series of books.Though if you read them, you will see why this post is anything but mundane.

So, now i will talk about The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy trilogy, (most particularly the fifth book, Mostly Harmless)

These books are (now, to anyone who doesn't like even very slight spoilers, like Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory, and plan to read these books, stop reading now. yes, now, not in a couple of words, NOW!) extremely thought provoking, full of deeply hidden metaphors, and still funny, in a complicated sort of way.

It is all about a man. An Englishman, to be exact, named Arthur Dent. Each book seems to highlight one of humankind's great questions while continuing searching for the previous one(s),

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy- The meaning of life
The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe- what came before... this?
Life, The Universe, and everything- What will we do when we discover we are not alone?
So Long And Thanks For All The Fish- Will it all ever work out?
Mostly Harmless-Will I ever fit in, once I have left were i belong...

There is another book in the series, but it is written by Eoin Colofer, author of the Artemis Fowl series, its called And Another Thing... and i haven't analyzed it enough to pick anything out yet.

Well, if you plan to read these, do it in order please. It makes much, much more since, and in order, to some it dosen't make that much since in the first place.

Well, I'm out of time, So i will leave you a quote from So Long and Thanks For All The Fish:
  • There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind.
  • Friday, January 14, 2011

    Astrological Chaos

    Everyone who believes in this stuff, (i don't really) here are your new signs.

    Capricorn: Jan. 20 – Feb. 16
    Aquarius: Feb. 16 – March 11
    Pisces: March 11
    April 18
    Aries: April 18
    May 13
    Taurus: May 13
    June 21
    Gemini: June 21
    July 20
    Cancer: July 20
    Aug. 10
    Leo: Aug. 10
    Sept. 16
    Virgo: Sept. 16
    Oct. 30
    Libra: Oct. 30
    Nov. 23
    Scorpio: Nov. 23
    Nov. 29
    Ophiuchus: Nov. 29
    Dec. 17
    Sagittarius: Dec. 17
    Jan. 20

    This Is such a funny topic going on, i would research it if i were you. Then come back and have a discussion with good old Apathetic Me.
    Ciao!

    Thursday, January 6, 2011

    Happiness (you know, sunshine and puppies and stuff)

    What we want to feel most. The most sought after emotion of all, subject of searches, cynicism, and sadness. Irony incarnate. The road to the best drags you through the worst. but enough of that, what about that joy and those fluffy little bunnies eh? By the way, if i seem a little less objective (cynical) its because I'm distracted. Sue me.
    Anywho, happiness. For me and the cheerful (hah!) Americans, it is even a part of our declaration of Independence. The pursuit of happiness. sounds like someone thinks we wont get it. I guess happiness is supposed to be the "ultimate good emotion" but i reserve this title for the mythical (for some) love. (more on that earlier, and later too. You may have noticed how i have said almost nothing about the emotion itself, but you try to describe happiness. I dare you.
    So today i end at a bit of an anticlimax. sorry everyone, i said i was distracted. sue me. again.

    The Quote:
  • This planet has — or rather had — a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much all of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.

  • H2G2
  • Tuesday, January 4, 2011

    Finaly!!! A request.

    Do to Mythreyi asking me to put up some more writing, (thank you, i was running out of topics, ) i will be posting some of my old writing for the next (insert number here) days. No more typing, woo!
    And if you think I'm lazy, well, you aren't?

    Here is my attempt at a fictional story:


    I started group today. The usual attending knocked at my door at 8:42, telling me to get dressed for group. I have to admit I was kinda exited, I mean, this is my first communion with the other (alleged) crazies at this place. Could be fun.
    As I dressed in the god awful gray running pants and the even worse shirt, I was momentarily distracted by the mound of rigged scars that radiate from were my unscathed heart lies. It is still quite raw, and not just the physical wound, but remembering the feeling of wanting to die as well. I still haven't told anyone about that, and I probably should. Hey, all the more reason not to.
    Dr. Mathews seems to have picked up on my little game of rebellion, and it appears that instead of “talking about it” he has decided to play along. You know, I have always liked the guy.
    Anyway, as I walk down the horrible mint colored corridors, I try (stupidly) to get prepared. As if anyone could “get prepared” for a room full of people who have been judged and singled out all their lives, and to top it off, they are not the sanest species of the proud homo sapien wandering this earth. There is no right things to say in front of these people, and for that, they have earned my respect. As I round the corner to room 4-G I suddenly realize that am one of them now, so who am I to judge?
    I open the door, bracing for impact, but I am quite taken aback to find a room full of faces, once talking lively amongst themselves, now turned towards me in a manner that seem to say “what the hell do you want!?” Every single face has a newly adopted look of stark indifference, which is, in fact, worse than anger, if anyone is taking note. Then, one of the girls cracks into a malicious grin and starts laughing, causing the others to look away and groan, obviously put out that she had ruined their fun. I quickly adopt a nice seat by the edge of the room, escape route in sight, and await further torment, which ,thankfully, comes in the form of the shrink at the front asking me to introduce myself.
    “I... well, I'm told my name is Mark.” I confess, hoping that this would appear at least the slightest bit odd to them, but it looks as if that is as normal as a bowel movement.
    Now that I get to take a good look around, I can see that there are four other people in the room besides Ms. Shrink. The first one to introduce himself is the guy who sits next to me, a built jock-looking guy with a glazed giddy look, a round pudgy face and hands like plates. He said he was told his name was Chris, but he may have known that already. Oh, what a nice sense of humor eh? Next to him sits an interesting looking girl sporting a huge black sweatshirt, sad eyes, and a look that doesn't seem to want to be here. Her name is Anna, a prefect palindrome. There are a lot of secrets behind those ice blue eyes, I can tell. Some foreign part of me wants to walk over to her, bend down to look her in the eyes and demand her life's story. Sometimes, your instincts seem as if they want to get you killed no?
    Next to her sits a geeky looking kid with thick glasses, a lost look, and a battlefield on his face who claims to be an “uh, Kevin”. I have never seen someone so forlorn and so ridden with acne in my life. 'Tis a terrible thing to behold, I must say. Next to him is a tall, spidery girl that had to be the most joyful looking one. Her name is apparently Beth, every single bit of her over 6 foot self seemed to be alive with sparks of eerily fake happiness. I don't think crossing her is advised. She is the one who ended the others game of seeing how much they could unnerve me. Finally, there is the shrink. Tall and demanding, she sits in the middle of our crescent, like a large spider spinning her web, just a bit more playful. Something about her suggests that she was not the most mentally sound person around when she was growing up either.
    The shrink clears her throat, and speaks. “Okay, now that Mark has arrived, we can begin.”
    “We have already begun, Cheryl” Beth states. Cheryl apparently being the shrinks first name. Sounds like an odd name for a shrink... “Keep up. We are all about to ask Mark here why he has come to our little home away from home.” That smile of hers is just plain scary...
    “Um... I guess I'm here because I, for no reason that I know, decided to blow a whole through myself, and failed.” I await reaction, get none, and finish “Oh, and I got amnesia. They must be waiting for me to get my memory back or something.

    Monday, January 3, 2011


    I think I may be able to prove the possibility of the square root of a negative number. It does require some mental gymnastics, so I don't expect you to get it, but here it is.

    This requires you to think of The number lineas a... oblong rather than a line.
    I'll explain:




     

    Now, with that thought:

    (-.∞ +[1∙10]) = .∞-[1∙10-∞]

    Thoughts please


    Go Along With It

    I'm going to try to pass the lack of post as an example of what I'm saying about the love limerence thing. Be prepared for disappointment. I'm not saying it will come, but it will make it more bearable. Did it work? Didn't think so... But hey, what could i do? I do have some more pressing things going on right now.

    Anywho, I'm gonna show you guys some of my writing. Be prepared, I'm not all that good.
    This is an old piece by me. Enjoy


    something has changed today
    something will never again be the same
    something has happened to me

    somehow I can't find myself
    somehow there is no longer pain
    somehow I cant say it's good

    somewhere the last light had faded
    somewhere this day is the same as before
    somewhere without me, of course

    sometimes I think I've lost it
    sometimes the march of time moves along
    sometimes... like now, it wont

    something is in the air tonight
    somehow I know I won't be the same
    somewhere there is a light though
    sometimes I will wish for it
    but for now, I am fine...